IF SHE IS TAKEN, YOU ONLY HAVE ONE TO COMPETE WITH.” — Courage Wolf
know what bugs me?
those pseudo-hippy, so called environmental activist high school girls who desperately crave the reputation of some outspokenly nature-loving non comformist and the ability to impress their peers with their witty exclusive remarks in class.
like your leather bag and cute little fringed black boots, girlinmypsychologyclass, they were probably made from some factory chain that was made possible by the deaths of like twenty different species of animals that youre totally oblivious to and whos existence you really don’t even care about. “what do you care about?” asks mrs matyuch. “i care about animals, and the environment, and being green, like the whales, THEY’RE BEING INHUMANELY KILLED.” but tell us, for our enjoyment will you, the name of the species of such whales. or, more importantly, where and how the clothes on your back were made? or what organizations like PETA really do? okay yeah it’s fine to whine, but please KNOW what you’re whining about first.
you have a wardrobe filled with clothes you don’t need, a bedroom filled with objects you’re ungrateful for, and more than enough of the attention you desperately want.
if you really want to “help” nature, type up a convincing editorial or something and send it to the newspaper for the school to read. don’t just make those obvious, overused whiny, almost-angry statements and cliche’s about how this world is not doing enough to help the environment. saying those things does not make you some post modern, proto-typical, animal-loving hero. i dunno, come to school naked or something with some cute little african monkey wrapped around your neck and the rotting carcass of some endangered sea creature in your organically-made handbag. maybe someone will actually believe you.
i mean don’t get me wrong. caring for the environment is a thumbs up. but people, don’t go all apeshiz once someone offends your apparant fixation on your precious little animal friends, you’re making yourself look pretty ignorant.
So I get a project in lit today.
Supposedly I’m supposed to make a magazine or “ZINE” on my perspective on the life and style of an author who changed the way the world looked at something and then died shortly after. Or they’re old farts today who have retired into life savings that even the Queen of England would be jealous of. (J.K. Rowling, you former hobo, this means you.)
Thankfully, my guy is long dead, and printed in books worldwide for his most famous piece of work, The Leviathan.
Yes, I have the
senile deceased old fart, Thomas Hobbes. Who looks like this:
and strangely but pleasantly, under the masterful pen of conservationist Bill Watterson, we can all safely look at Hobbes’ comic renderation who still retains his ideas but shares them with the boy form of the religious nut, John Calvin.
Hobbes’ comic form is ”That slimey orange curr with retractable claws” according to (John) Calvin.
and he is this adorable and loved creature:
what a bundle of joy.
This project is no joke. My lit teacher is the analest of them all and quite frankly, I’m worried on how I’m going to do this semester because in the prior one before the final, I held an A.
afterwards, it dropped down to a B, and
fucked me over.
And before all this even happened, the entire classes’ first grade of the second semester was determined by their ‘participation’ for a play about the 2nd Act in Arthur Miller’s The Crucible.
To which everyone responded like this:
and after a miniscule amount of practice and preparation, the play commenced.
I was the actor for the character known as Reverend John Hale, and had the third most lines out of everyone that was an actor.
I might as well just have said this throughout the entire play:
Because my teacher did not look pleased, she looked like when Captain Kirk did when he found out that Star Trek fanboys started to watch reruns with Shatner in them.
and while I got the man who coined the term Materialism, Charissa Kim got a man who is a master of satire. And with her brilliant artistic mind and editing powers that she received from newspaper, her “Zine” (coined by my lit teacher) will most likely be, THE
But life goes on and on. And more important things fall into place when you are actually awake when you’re usually napping for the remainder of the afternoon
The most important things on my weekday/schoolday repetoire are usually:
- What kind of socks will I wear tomorrow?
- How many times will I chew my food before swallowing?
- What songs will I be listening to while I’m on the crapper?
It’s never homework (cause it gets done eventually)
never studying (cause my brain works better if I cram)
and never projects (cause perform better when I procrastinate)
and there you go, another successful post on a pretty crappy day.
these have been my two cents
chris the loserfish
(P.S. Ms. Zuckert if you’re reading this, surely you know that after all those years of teaching English, I’m kidding. please don’t kill me. and my grade.)
STAB THEM WHILE THEY ARE LAUGHING.” —Courage Wolf
is to plant trees,
under whose shade
you do not expect to sit.” —Nelson Henderson